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Tracinglines - Pacific Crest Trail Journal - 2012

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Dana
City: San Diego
State: CA
Begins: Apr 27, 2012
Direction: Northbound

Daily Summary
Date: Sat, Nov 12th, 2011

Journal Stats
Entry Visits: 443
Journal Visits: 8,285
Guestbook Views: 369
Guestbook Entrys: 3

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Jitters

I fell out of step with my preparation for a little while. I'm (almost) back into the swing of things, but I just want to be honest about the ups and downs of this preparing. A few days ago, the reality of this whole thing hit really hard. Not so much that the day-to-day will be harder than I thought. Not even how brutal and kinda crazy it is to hike this all in one long go. Not the pain of the hike, the weather, thirst, hunger, and endless decisions. But, more importantly, the growing pains. The fact that I will find flaws and fears in myself that I didn't know existed. I realized that when I get back, it will be hard to adjust back into life as I've been living it. All this time of preparing, I've been planning for 3 months when I get back to find a job. Now, I'm starting to worry that I won't even feel like looking for a job for 3 months. Or that I will have 6, 7, 8 months of gap on my resume. That I might have my head too far in the clouds and that the people skills I have cultivated will suddenly disappear. I'm worried about depleting funds that I've worked hard to save for more important goals...like buying land for Brett and I to build a house. Something we've been working toward for years already. We've always regarded the trail as something we must do before accomplishing these other goals. I started to worry that the trail might overshadow these things. In my time reflecting on this, I walked by a bumber sticker that said "the only constant is change." It's true. Maybe more true than I was willing to admit at the time.

I spoke to Brett about these worries and he basically talked me down. I realized that this hike is for no one but myself. That it's no one's business to judge that resume gap or the validity of the experience. It's my hike. I also realized, that it's important to remember the reasons we are doing this. Going back to that first inspiration, of living off of only the things we can carry on our backs. Traveling with our own feet. Adapting to a new lifestyle. Enjoying the beauty. And I realized how easily that daily mileage stuff and the difficulty and persistance of the hike can fog that initial inspiration. I realized that my draw to the trail was not the idea of persevering on a hike from Mexico to Canada, but to hop on the trail and travel along it. It comforts me now, to think that it's not against my goal to switch to section hiking if I am so inspired. But that if I prepare enough, mentally, and make a conscious effort to sink into life on the trail and enjoy it, I will probably make it the entire way.

Over and Out,
Dana

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Journal Photo

Pacific Crest Trail - 2012

The Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) is a 2,650-mile national scenic trail that runs from Mexico to Canada through California, Oregon and Washington. The PCT traverses 24 national forests, 37 wilderness areas and 7 national parks. The PCT passes through 6 out of 7 of North Americas ecozones. Learn more: www.pcta.org

 

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